Player Profiles
Discover the players who make up Pingsters Table Tennis Club—each with their own unique style, strengths, and personality at the table. Whether you’re a spin master, a power hitter, or just love the game, our club is full of passionate players who bring the energy every session.
Meet the Players
From lightning-fast footwork to devastating counterattacks, every Pingster has a story to tell. Check out their profiles to see what makes them a force to be reckoned with!
You too can be a part of the action! Join our community, test your skills, and share in the love of the game.
The Amazon
River
On the surface it’s just water, what lies beneath is something far more sinister.
Hand: Right
Style: Just when you thought it was safe to go down the line he surfaces to obliterate anything standing in his way.
Signature Shot: The Reptilian Forehand Strangle. It’s a terrible place to be.
Fun Fact: Unknown
The Pinger
Amelia
Finds Zen-level joy in slow, rhythmic, relentless pinging.
Hand: Right
Style: She will kill you slowly — wins points not with speed, but with patience that feels personally insulting.
Signature Shot: Near-infinite consistency — she’s basically a human ball machine.
Fun Fact: Can hold 4 ping pong balls in her mouth.
The Animal
Stuart
Embodies ferocity, strength, and fearlessness. Has a game built on raw power and unstoppable will.
Hand: Right
Style: The Animal doesn’t waste time on finesse — he brings the full force of his shots, from explosive smashes to devastating loops.
Signature Shot: Backhand slap that causes him to roar at his opponents.
Fun Fact: Used to have a forehand.
The Silent Assassin
Konrad
Minimal effort, maximum impact. Every move is calculated, every shot a precision strike.
Hand: Right
Style: Keeps the focus on themselves, never showing emotion, never rushing. Stealthy control.
Signature Shot: A quiet, effortless winner that ends the match in a blink.
Fun Fact: Unknown
Professor Topspin
Pedro
*Top Trump
A table tennis scholar who’s mastered the art of spin, especially topspin, and applies methodical thinking to every shot.
Hand: Right
Style: Master of topspin loops, with an uncanny ability to control spin, speed, and placement.
Signature Shot: The Intentional Edge
Fun Fact: Shook hands with Prince Harry.
Mount Doomhold
Thomas
A force of nature, whose presence on the table is felt like the looming shadow of a mountain, and whose gameplay is as unpredictable as an erupting volcano.
Hand: Right
Style: Explodes with aggressive topspins and power shots, much like an avalanche coming down a mountain.
Signature Shot: Reverse penhold backhand — a truly devastating flow of lava.
Fun Fact: He wasn’t born with a beard.
The Twiddler
Neil
A psychological master, turning every point into a puzzle. “Is it spin? Is it no-spin? Is it even the same rubber?!”
Hand: Right
Style: Weird and wonderful. He’ll shake you into a withering mess.
Signature Shot: Chop block that defies physics.
Fun Fact: Always goes to a 5th set.
The Grandmaster Tee
Hassan
A true master of his craft, with a calm, composed demeanor, but with skills that are at a level of rare expertise.
Hand: Right
Style: Lagosian
Signature Shot: Unsigned
Fun Fact: Medieval philosopher
The Juggernaut
Umar
Unstoppable aggression, every shot comes with raw force, and once he starts attacking, it’s hard to get him to stop.
Hand: Right
Style: Relentless Pressure
Signature Shot: The Juggernaut Smash – A crushing, high-speed smash that sends the ball crashing into the opponent’s soul.
Fun Fact: Unknown
The Voice
Amanda
Her presence is felt both on and off the table. Strategic shots, psychological warfare, and natural leadership.
Hand: Right
Style: Her shots are often smooth and calculated, almost like a symphony being played on the table.
Signature Shot: Harmonic Chop — a deceptive backspin shot that makes the ball drop out of nowhere.
Fun Fact: She is a published author.
The Polish Hodor
Greg
He holds the line like Hodor — no fancy tricks, just raw power and unbreakable resilience.
Hand: Right
Style: Once he gets his footing, he’s difficult to move around or break. His game is built on steady, relentless pressure.
Signature Shot: Banana Flick (just needs to learn how to do it).
Fun Fact: He’s a juggler.
The Smasher
Sarah
Why rally when you can end it in one swing? She obliterates anything in her path; approach with caution.
Hand: Left
Style: She preys on any ball above the net. Just when you thought it was safe to put the ball on the table… BANG!
Signature Shot: Runs across the table to obliterate a ball that was probably going out anyway.
Fun Fact: Likes a Pint
The Chuckler
Max
Treats every rally like a comedy routine with a ball.
Hand: Right
Style: Laughs while playing
Signature Shot: Forehand down the line
Fun Fact: Runs across the table, returns a ball at a bizarre angle, then giggles.
The Hammer
Mike
If it moves, he will destroy it. Not only does he find the target, he crushes it.
Hand: Right
Style: He strikes the ball so hard that the effects are widespread across a vast area.
Signature Shot: A pummelling smash that sometimes causes an earthquake.
Fun Fact: I’m as bad at golf as I am at table tennis.
The Chilled
Alex
This player might be cool as a cucumber, but beneath the surface lies deadly precision and sharp focus.
Hand: Right
Style: His shots are smooth, never rushed, and always executed with immaculate timing.
Signature Shot: The Freeze Frame — it’ll leave you frozen in awe.
Fun Fact: Unknown
The Pipslinger
Kris
A master of long pips, turning the table into a fast-paced, unpredictable battlefield.
Hand: Right
Style: Keeps opponents on edge with constant changes in spin and speed.
Signature Shot: Unreturnable Forehand
Fun Fact: Unknown
The Punisher
Charlie
He punishes every mistake, every weak shot, with extreme precision and power.
Hand: Right
Style: Never shows any signs of weakness, and keeps attacking until the opponent breaks.
Signature Shot: Forehand down the line.
Fun Fact: Prefers playing golf.
The Shifty Shadow
Damien
Vanishes from one side of the table and reappears at the other. Rarely shows emotion—like a shadow, they’re always present but never fully grasped.
Hand: Right
Style: Unpredictably menacing
Signature Shot: Chop smash — this isn’t even a proper shot, but somehow this player has harnessed something in order to achieve it.
Fun Fact: Once met D.I. Burnside.
The Backhand Phantom
Rudi
A player who haunts the table with an unstoppable, unpredictable backhand.
Hand: Right
Style: Will pivot from awkward angles to still hit a deadly backhand.
Signature Shot: Kicker Serve — sometimes it spins over the opponent’s head.
Fun Fact: Ultra runner
The Viking
Mehrdad
He brings the rage and fury of a Norse warrior to every match.
Hand: Right
Style: Never backs down, no matter how tough the match gets, just like a Viking raider who never stops charging.
Signature Shot: Forehand Counter
Fun Fact: Chases opponents around the table.
Mr Whiplash
Paul
World record holder for the snappiest forehand loop; no one has ever come close.
Hand: Right
Style: He approaches the game like a Chess Grandmaster — each move he makes is a deliberate attempt to capture and seize his opponent.
Signature Shot: The ultra-snappy forehand — short backswing, explosive wrist snap, lightning-fast recovery. Opponents barely see the ball leave the bat.
Fun Fact: Brought the house down when he sang ‘Gold’ by Spandau Ballet in a posh Mayfair hotel.